The Spirits of Our Hearts
Author: Orrymain
Category: Slash, Drama, Missing Scene/Epilogue, Partial POV -
Daniel, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 6 - (Flashback to Season 2)
Spoilers: Spirits
Size: 34kb
Written: July 19, 2003 Revised: January 10,17, August 31,
November 11-12, 2005, June 3,7-10, 2006 Revised for
consistency: February 22, 2007
Summary: Daniel begins his computer diary, recalling when the
Tau'ri met Tonane and the Salish. How will his personal
studmuffin react?
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were,
especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can
dream though!
Notes:
1) Jack and Daniel sometimes say things that have double
meanings. A simple “Jack” or “What are you doing?” could mean
much more than the words spoken and could carry multiple connotations,
including feelings, desires, fears, etc. These double meanings
are noted like this: “Actual spoken words” **(double
meaning)**
2) Sometimes, Jack and Daniel speak almost telepathically. Their
“silent” words to each other are indicated by asterisks instead of
quotes, such as **Jack, we can't.**
3) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~
in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
4) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my other fic(s), “They
Don't Understand”
5) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Drdjlover,
QuinGem, Heather, Claudia, Linda, Jodi!
The Spirits of Our Hearts
By Orrymain
“Danny, whatcha' doing?” Jack asked playfully as he entered the study.
“Just making some notes in my computer diary,” the archaeologist
responded as he continued to type on the keyboard.
“Diary?” a surprised Jack responded. “Giving up your journals?”
he asked, feeling a bit confused at the moment.
“No, never,” Daniel answered, looking up at his lover. “Jack, my
journals are ... they're ... for me, but this is different,” he intoned.
“How so?” the older man asked, crossing the room and sitting down on
the old, but comfy sofa.
“Well, I'm recording my thoughts about some of our missions,” the
archaeologist explained. Seeing the latest issue of Teal'c's
favorite tabloid publication -- 'Glimmer' -- wrapped up under his
lover's arm, Daniel mused playfully, “It seems inquiring minds want to
know about them. Actually, they want to know about us,
Jack. They're obsessing about us, now that they understand a
little better about who we are and what we mean to each other.”
~He's lost his mind,~ Jack thought. “Our missions are classified,
Daniel, and what inquiring minds? Just who have you been talking
to?” he questioned. ~I'll call Janet; maybe it's just stress.~
“They have clearance, Love,” Daniel spoke, a teasing expression on his
face. ~Look at his expression. He thinks I've lost my
mind. He's so easy to confuse. Gawd, I love him!~
“Daniel -- inquiring minds?” Jack saw his lover's smirk and the
direction of his focus, suddenly realizing he was being teased big
time. “Teal'c likes me to read it,” he spoke about the outrageous
tabloid.
“Right.” Smiling, Daniel requested, “C'mere, I'd like you to read
this.”
“You're such a dictator!” Jack exclaimed.
“So you keep telling me. Now come here,” Daniel ordered yet again.
“Yes, Sir!” Jack chuckled, standing and snapping to before joining his
lover at the computer.
Smiling at Jack's humor, but not responding to it, Daniel explained, “I
decided to write this entry in first person; I thought it might be more
exciting, but I don't know. I may just write the next one in
regular third person for clarity. I'm not sure though if ...”
“Daniel, do you want to discuss writing styles, or do you want me to
read this?” Jack asked.
“Read!” the younger man commanded. “But, uh, it's not my usual
sty...le,” he added hesitantly, his last word broken upon seeing his
soulmate's glare. “I'll ... just be ... over here,” he said,
pointing towards the sofa.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
“Trinium,” General Hammond states as we sit around the large conference
table in the briefing room. He explains that the rocks currently
in front of SG-1 are a new mineral thought to be one hundred times
lighter and stronger than steel. “That's a sample of raw Trinium
which is too brittle for manufacturing because of its impurities,” he
adds hastily, as Teal'c easily crushes one of the rocks in his
hands. Gee, he's strong.
There were big hopes for this material, but nothing ever seems to come
easily. SG-11 was late reporting back from their scouting mission
to extract more samples from the planet, and, of course, we feared the
worse.
Suddenly, the klaxons are blaring, and we quickly move to look out the
large observation window that looks down on the Stargate. The
next thing I know, something swooshes through the Gate.
~Duck,~ I tell myself. It was pure instinct. ~Is everyone
okay?~ I wonder as things calm.
When I look up, my heart screams as I realize everyone is okay, except
for one. My Jack is on the floor. I rush to his side,
helping him to sit up. As he leans against my chest, I can see
the blood running down his right arm, a result of the vicious-looking
thick silver arrow protruding from his bicep. I want to get angry
at whoever sent this projectile hurling through the Gate and into My
Jack, but right now fury would serve no purpose. All I can think
about is Jack.
~Be okay, Jack; please be okay,~ I silently beg since I can't say
anything more aloud.
I want to hold him closer, more intimately, but I can't, not here in
the briefing room. Still, I refuse to let him go until Doctor
Warner arrives to take my injured lover safely to the infirmary.
Fortunately, no one thinks it's odd or strange. They're learning
to accept that the colonel and the archaeologist are best friends who
are always there for each other; and we are friends. We're just
lovers, too, and that, they can't know about.
Wishing I could do more, all I can do is watch as the medical team
tends to My Love. I can't even see him alone; there's no
time. We can't postpone the mission. SG-11 is still out
there, and we have to find out what's happened to them. We delay
only long enough to be sure that Jack is okay.
Before we head out, Sam, Teal'c, and I go to see our team leader.
It's not the visit I want with him. It's far too public to say
the things we want to say to each other; in fact, I stay back, almost
afraid to move closer to his bed for fear I might forget we aren't
alone. At least he looks better now. His voice is strong,
and his humor is in full force as evidenced by him teasing Sam about
her first command. Still, I wish we could have had a moment
alone, or something, but it just wasn't possible. A look -- all
we could muster was a look that spoke a million unspoken words.
“SG-1, you have a go,” the general tells us.
Reluctantly, I turn away from my lover's hospital bed and head for the
Stargate. I'm not the only one filled with anguish, as I know My
Jack is, too.
My Colonel always worries about me when I go through the Gate without
him. You'd think I was a child, but it's just he loves me.
Truth be told, he hated our separations long before we were
romantically involved, but now that we are, his concern has
tripled. His heart aches, and he never relaxes until he sees me
return, safely back through Gate, and can take me into his loving arms.
It's no picnic for me either. I still play my independent card,
though.
“You worry too much, Jack,” I constantly tell him. “I'll be
fine,” but Jack scoffs when I say that.
“You're always fine, Daniel,” my lover retorts in frustration.
It's a bone of contention between us; one of those things we'll
probably always bicker about until the day we retire. That will
be the day the world will learn that Jack and Daniel are an 'us', a
'we', and that we'll be that way forever and always.
My Lover and I are both men of strong wills and testaments. We've
built up defenses designed to keep others out of our emotions, to
protect ourselves from pain, despair, and loss. Now that we are
'us', though, we've had to find a way to let go of some of our hard-won
independence, to realize that it's okay to worry, to ache, and to miss
the other to the point of distraction. It's not like we have a
choice. We suffer from an incurable affliction.
It's called love, and as crazy as it seems, as difficult as it is for
some to understand, My Studmuffin and I are most definitely in love!
//End of Daniel's Diary//
“Studmuffin, Daniel?” Jack asked incredulously. “When have you
ever called me a studmuffin?”
“All the time, Love. You're just usually in the process of seeing
stars when I say it, too euphoric to remember,” the archaeologist
smirked cockily.
“Oh,” Jack replied, clearing his throat for a second. “But, come
on -- Studmuffin? Can't you come up with something more
dignified? I'm a colonel in the United States Air Force, you
know,” he whined.
“I've noticed,” Daniel chuckled. “It's hard to miss all that
bellowing and order-giving.”
“Like you know what an order is,” Jack challenged. As Daniel
laughed some more, he asked suspiciously, “And just who are the
mysterious 'they' that will be reading this? You keep avoiding
the question.”
“Jack, just read,” the younger man ordered as he lay back on the sofa,
deciding to get a bit more comfortable. He loved the old
sofa. ~We should get a new one, but ... no, I like this one.~
“Daniel,” Jack spoke. **(I want to know now.)**
“Jack,” Daniel replied as he put a pillow beneath his head.
**(Why do you have to make things so complicated?)**
“Daniel.” **(You're holding out on me, Danny.)**
“Jack,” the younger man replied, thrusting his hips just slightly as he
settled in more fully. **(If you don't keep reading, you'll see
what holding out really means because you'll be sleeping on the couch
tonight ... alone.)**
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
The mission on PXY-887 wasn't really dangerous, or rather, we didn't
think it was when we set foot on it a little while ago. Then, of
course, we were all knocked out while I was translating a totem
pole. Well, explaining it to Sam would be a better way of
explaining what I was doing, but the point is that while doing that,
Sam, Teal'c, and I were all tranquilized by the natives there.
The planet is populated by people who are very much like the Salish of
Earth. One of their leaders is a very amiable man named Tonane.
He and his people are guided by spirits, Xe'ls and T'akaya, who appear
readily to them as a raven and wolf, respectively.
As we visit and get to know the inhabitants, I am surprised the tribe
isn't more ritualistic. Every time I think they are about to
break out into some tribal dance or something, they use common sense or
logic, instead. I'm stunned when I warn Sam she may have to go
along with some unusual rites when Tonane calls on the spirits for us,
but instead, he simply call out their names. I must be tired, or
maybe I'm just worried about Jack, but regardless of the reason, for an
anthropologist, I'm falling into a far-too-common trap. That is,
I'm taking too much for granted, and that's not a good thing, but
that's neither here nor there at the moment.
Eventually, the spirits agree to return SG-11 to us. At the same
time, we convince their tribal council to allow Tonane to visit us at
the SGC, which was important since they had denied our request for more
trinium as it would damage their land. We were confident we could
change their minds by showing Tonane alternative mining operations we
could use that wouldn't totally destroy 887's environment and/or that
would replenish what was ruined.
I manage to find a quick moment to sneak into the infirmary while the
others are still welcoming Tonane. My Jack is dressed in his BDUs
again, looking so handsome and sexy that I want to ravish him on the
spot, but his arm is in a sling, and Sam will be coming soon to give
her CO a report on the mission, so I settle for a quick hello. I
hate the military. I don't want to settle, but there's nothing
else I can do right now.
The infirmary is busy, bustling with activity, so we can't do any more
than exchange looks of reassurance alongside our bland words. We
want to do so much more than that. Some might say that it's
because our love is new that we are so passionate, but I think they're
wrong. I think My Love and I will always be like this: each with
a desperate hunger and need for the other. I believe that forever
and always love never lets passion diminish, that it feeds the flames
of desire causing them to burn out of control. We are forever and
always, My Jack and I.
Okay, in the moment, that's what I hope, that we're forever, and yet I
know it isn't that simple. Before my lover ignited my soul, I
didn't even know a forever could be dreamed about. Now I do dream
about it, wondering at the same time if I could finally end the
loneliness and make the fears that have consumed me disappear. I
want to, with him.
“Daniel,” My Jack says quietly. That's what his voice said, but
his eyes are asking, 'Did everything go all right? Are you okay?'
“Jack,” I respond with a smile, though my eyes respond, 'You're the one
who had the arrow in his arm, Love. Are you okay?'
My lover smiles in reply, and then I hear Sam. Our brief moment
of aloneness is ending, but I need to say something; it's welling up
inside me.
I lean over, pretending to dust off something nonexistent on the
hospital bed, and whisper softly in his ear, “I love you, Jack.”
I don't often say those words first because I, well, I guess I'm
scared, but I had to say it right now. As soon as the words are
out of my mouth, I make a hasty retreat. I feel good
inside. New or not, this connection with him feels so
right. I wish the feeling would stay forever.
Our hearts are so full -- of desire, lust, unadulterated joy, and
all-consuming love. We can't get enough of each other when we are
alone, just the two of us in our private world. It's like an
addiction for which there is no cure, but who would want to be cured
from this? This isn't a bad thing like a sarcophagus, but rather,
it's like chocolate -- something so sweet that it melts in our mouths,
gliding its way down through our bodies, soothing, tempting, making us
hungry for each other minute by minute. While our hearts are
pumping our sugary sweetness through our veins, our spirits soar in our
minds as we share our burdens and our nightmares, our dreams and our
hopes, and our longing for that elusive forever together.
We've never been good at expecting and planning for a future. Why
plan for something that we can't have, that we know will be taken
away? Some of that, actually a lot of that, might be my
fault. I love him, and yet, because of my past, I'm afraid of it
ending. That’s my conundrum. I believe that Jack and I are
forever and always, but I also believe that someday I will lose him. I
lose everyone I love and care about. Just think about
Sha're. No, not now. I don't want to think about my wife when I'm
getting chills of excitement thinking about my lover. I guess I'm
far from being perfect.
As the days pass, though, My Jack and I are finding a way. We
ride the stars, building Stargates between them, each kiss and touch
creating a new source of energy, each caress adding a new chevron to
our existence, and each orgasmic scream launching us further into the
belief of forever. We soar through days and nights, our spirits
melding together more and more until we wonder how we could ever have
been two individuals instead of one 'us'.
How long have I been standing here, lost in the feelings of our love as
I hug myself? Apparently, it's been a while, judging from the
stares I'm getting in the corridor.
~Focus, Jackson. You have a job to do,~ I tell myself as I head
towards my office.
Continuing to revel in our new world of Jack and Daniel, I proceed to
go back to the task at hand, preparing a presentation for Tonane on
various mining techniques.
I tried my best, but truth can't be hidden from the perceptive, and
Tonane is perceptive. It didn't take him long to see through the
inadequacy of the our ways, to see the waste in our
industrialization. It's hard for me to argue with his decision,
even though I know how much we need the precious mineral his planet can
provide.
“I'm convinced our way is best,” the Salish representative speaks.
Along with being personable, our friend, Tonane, is wise. He was
ready to go home, and the presentation wasn't even half over yet.
General Hammond suggests I show Tonane around the base. It's
really an order, but I prefer to think of words like this as being
suggestions, even from the general. It's another of those bones
of contention between My Love and I -- my failure to comprehend and
follow orders, in his eyes, anyway.
Quickly, I realize there's some not-so-pleasant things to be discussed
when we leave the room.
Later on, I learn the NID was part of the decision to lie to Tonane's
people, to essentially go in and steal from a world we have no moral
right to. Why am I not surprised?
The trinium is highly desired, and for the first time, I'm ashamed of
what was about to happen, about the way Earth would treat a new friend.
Jack tells me that the general had said, “What they don't know, won't
hurt them.”
I'm surprised at General Hammond, but I suspect he's being pressured
more than I can imagine. It's why I don't like the
military. Diplomacy and fair trade go out the window too often
when things don't go our way, but the truth is, we have no moral right
to take from the Salish. It's their world, not ours. How
can we possibly justify stealing? We need their resources.
We're more technologically advanced. We have the military might
to back our wants. We can do it, invade their land and take the
trinium without them even knowing it, but does that make it right?
My Jack isn't happy about this situation, either. He's a military
man through and through, and yet, he has passion and concern for doing
things the right way. Okay, so sometimes, he has to fight his way
through his own training to see what's right, but not on this.
From what I've learned, he was against it from the beginning.
Though we both believe there has to be a better way, we don't have a
chance to figure it out. The Salish are a lot smarter than our
higher ups gave them credit for, and it seems SG-11 aren't really
SG-11, but rather, Xe'ls, T'akaya, and, I assume, other spirits.
They are trying to take over the base, sending SGC personnel into some
invisible land, and in the process, assuming the forms of various staff.
From out of the blue, I hear my lover's voice over the speakers, and he
doesn't sound happy.
“Code 9. Code 9. This is not a drill. I repeat, not a
drill,” My Jack states with urgency.
I usher Tonane into a storage room. Okay, for a genius, sometimes
I'm not the quickest thinker, but I wanted to get him out of the way,
to keep him safe. There aren't that many options for hiding in
the Mountain. Uh, trust me, storage rooms can be very safe and
secluded. My Jack and I know that from first hand experience,
but, oh, geez, that's not something I need to be thinking about right
now.
I'm worried about Jack. The alarm continues to sound, and my
pulse races. I need to be with him, to see him, to know he is
safe. Tonane sees through my 'tour' of the storage locker.
Tonane doesn't miss much.
“We have to find Jack,” I finally admit to our guest, trying to cover
my concern with rapid movements.
After he astutely points out that Jack isn't in the storage room, I
lead Tonane out of the room, into the corridors of the SGC, and we go
in search of My Love.
**Jack, be safe. Please be safe,** I communicate silently, hoping
magically that he can hear me.
Then, I hear it, softly and gently, filling my mind -- **Danny, be
careful. It's not safe right now. I love you.**
It's Jack! My Jack is okay. I can both feel and him.
The sensation draws me to the infirmary. Wow! Sure enough,
there he is, but there's obviously a problem. Teal'c is holding a
zat on me, and it looks like he's zatted Xe'ls. It also appears
that Tonane's spirits are actually humanoid aliens with gills.
“Jack?” I ask as I enter the room. **(What's going on?)**
“Daniel?” My Colonel responds a bit hesitantly. **(It is you,
isn't it, Babe?)**
“Are you, you?” I question, hoping he's really him and safe.
**(Please be you. I've been worried.)**
“Yeah. You?” Jack asks, giving me a quizzical look. **(Of
course, I'm me; who else would I be?)**
“What?” I reply, frustrated all of a sudden, though I'm not sure
exactly why. **(C'mon, Jack, you know it's me.)**
“Never mind,” Jack says, equally frustrated, I think. **(For
crying out loud, Daniel, no one else in the world could have these
insane non-conversations, and I was worried about you, too.)**
I don't understand it. Sometimes, I hear him, but he's not saying
a word. Sometimes, he says a word or a phrase, but I know he's
really saying so much more, just like I am. It's been like that
from the beginning, before we were an 'us'. Just saying each
other's name could mean so many different things. It's still that
way, only now, we're hearing each other. I don't think I want to
think about it too much.
As we confer, I shake my head, realizing how we were about to steal
from the Salish. I suggest we try honesty as our weapon of
choice. After all, nothing else is working, and people are
disappearing like there's no tomorrow.
“You mean fess up,” My Not-So-Dumb Jack simplifies.
My Jack, the colonel -- he never wanted to be a part of the deception
in the first place, so he agrees to tell Tonane the truth.
Although I can see Jack is reluctant to let me out of sight, it's my
job, along with Teal'c, to head back to the planet and explain the
situation. Even though the feeling is mutual, and I'm not anxious
to leave My Love on Earth alone, we both know that we don't have a
choice.
**Jack?**
**Be safe,** Jack communicates before I leave the room.
Wow! I just don't understand how I can hear him when his mouth
isn't moving, and I guess, he hears me, too. Do I sound different
when I'm silent?
~Good, Jackson. Now that makes a lot of sense. Stop
thinking so much,~ I tell myself, as if it were possible.
Teal'c and I head to the gate room where we plan to return to the
planet and talk with the elders of the Salish in the hopes that honesty
will lead to understanding and a solution to this crisis.
Meanwhile, Jack begins the unpleasant task of explaining to Tonane what
we were planning to do behind the backs of his people.
In the gate room, we find T'akaya guarding the ramp to the
Stargate. After she makes Teal'c disappear, I fear she's about to
do the same thing to me. Quickly, I tell her I know where Xe'ls
is, knowing she'd be trying to find him. We make a deal. She
agrees to hear me out, and I agree to take her to Xe'ls, who is still
unconscious from his injuries.
As we approach the infirmary, I see Jack has his weapon aimed on one of
the aliens. I charge in, holding my hand out to indicate for him
not to fire. I tell him it's okay, but my lover is confused,
aiming his weapon at the aliens, then at me, back at the aliens, then
at me again.
~He doesn't know it's me for sure,~ I think silently.
My Jack is scared, and that is something that doesn't happen
often. What if he fires, and I am me? I see the terror on
his face, the worry in his brow, and the love in his heart, fighting to
know what he should do.
“How do I know you're really Daniel?” Jack asks cautiously.
**(Give me something, Danny; I'll kill myself if I kill you by
accident.)**
“Because,” I answer. **(Who else would answer a question like
that with 'because'? Listen to my heart, Love; listen.)**
What else could I say? I just hoped he realized I was me. I
knew it was him; there wasn't a doubt in my mind.
“Yeah, okay,” Jack agrees, quickly coming to my side. **(Danny,
please stop scaring me like this. I know I must have another gray
hair.)**
We stand together side by side, taking comfort from knowing we are
'us', alive and well, at least for the moment. Being close is all
we can do right now; the crisis is still ongoing, but no matter what,
we're together. I feel his strength. He makes me feel
safe. We're going to get through this; I know we will.
Xe'ls' comrades gather round and, in a very short amount of time, heal
him. Then, suddenly, we're all in the gate room. Xe'ls is
angry, not so much about almost dying, I don't think, as about the lies
we told. He tells T'akaya that he wants us punished. It's
only due to the agreement I made with T'akaya that we aren't instantly
sent to the nowhere land that the spirits send their enemies. I
have no idea where that is, but wherever it is, I don't want to go. I'm
quite content to be here on Earth, with Jack.
Note: these spirits act with honor. T'akaya really didn't
have to keep her promise to me and doing so clearly put her at odds
with Xe'ls, who is the obvious head spirit. Xe'ls himself had no
obligation to honor T'akaya's promise, especially considering we almost
killed him. Interesting, too, is that the Salish we met seem to
act with integrity and simplicity. I wish I could get the
Pentagon to see the value of allies and friendships. They are
just as important as Jack's 'big, honkin' weapons' that the military
loves to lust for.
Think about it. What if the spirits had come through with SG-11
and heard us offer our alternatives to Tonane, but then, instead of
covering up our intentions, had responded with truth. What if we
had said we understood and set up an agreement for what we could get
from them, or maybe even to negotiate for more later. What if we
had just written off the trinium and decided to see what we could learn
from the Salish as friends?
Who knows? Maybe Xe'ls would have provided us with the trinium,
or at least some. Maybe he would have returned the real SG-11 and
agree to let us come back and discuss a future as friends.
I can only sigh at the questions as I'll never know the answer.
Instead, we took the path of 'take no matter what the cost', and, in
the end, we almost all died because of it. No one is to blame for
what has happened today but us. Now, Xe'ls has agreed to listen,
but will our words sway him?
I'm almost amazed that we do reach a meeting of the minds, and I'm
proud that My Jack was instrumental in that achievement. He
suggested to the spirits that they bury their Gate to ensure the safety
of their world. He even persuaded the spirits to trust the Salish
with their real identity.
Taking a chance that Jack was right, Tonane suddenly appears in the
gate room, meeting his spirits in their true form for the first
time. As with everything else, the Salish man is wise in his
acceptance of his people's benefactors, something that pleases Xe'ls
and T'akaya greatly. Maybe they've learned a little something
from us after all.
Before our visitors return to their planet, they return the real SG-11
and all the SGC personnel who had been taken to that nowhere
place. They are safe and sound, although very confused, having no
memory from wherever they'd been.
We're safe; Tonane and his people are safe; and another crisis has been
averted. There will be trinium taken from 887, but there are
other planets. I regret only that we won't be able to get to know
the Salish and their spirits better. It's just like the Nox, and
inwardly, I hope that, just like we have with the Nox, someday we will
be able to reestablish communication with those on 887.
I see Jack looking at me. I'm tired, and he knows it. He's
also a little weak, not having had enough time to regain his strength
from his injury. We say nothing, but head to the briefing room to
fill General Hammond in on everything he missed. Afterwards, we
head to our respective offices to prepare our reports.
Janet, who had arrived in the middle of the crisis, gives My Love her
seal of approval, letting me take him home. She doesn't know
about 'us', but she learned way back when we first visited the Land of
Light, that Jack and I take care of each other. It never mattered
which one of us was in need, the other was always there, and when it
was time to go home, Janet would know to give the healthy one the
instructions on the care and feeding of the injured one.
There was no such thing as releasing Jack or Daniel to going home
alone; it never happened; not once, so on this day, she clears Jack,
turns around, knowing I'll be there, and hands me the pills. It's
not a bad injury, but the man of my dreams had lost a lot of blood and
spent the last several hours running around the SGC engaged in
battle. Lots of relaxation was in order.
“No strenuous activities for thirty-six hours, Daniel. I'm
counting on you to keep the colonel in check,” Janet tells me with that
stern glare of hers.
Me? She's got to be kidding. I have plans for this evening,
and from the look I'm getting from My Jack, so does he.
“Sure, Janet. I'll make sure he ... behaves,” I respond.
Okay, so it's a stretch. No, it's not a lie. He'll do what
I say. He'll behave. I am in such trouble. ~I need a
way out of this.~
Well, I guess we'll have to figure out a compromise somehow, only how
do you negotiate a compromise without revealing the precise nature of
the exertion in question? He's a tough cookie; My Jack will
survive a bit of strenuous activity. We'll be careful.
Jack sees me over-thinking and glares at me. Oh, sorry,
Love. Let's just go home and figure it out. It's not like
he's concussed or anything. After all, My Jack is a big, strong
studmuffin!
//End of Daniel's Diary//
“Daniel?” Jack asked, looking over the computer monitor at his lover.
“Yes, Jack?” Daniel responded, shifting slightly at having been
disturbed from his relaxation.
“I'm going to let the studmuffin thing go, this time,” Jack intoned.
“That's nice of ... <yawn> ... you, Babe,” the archaeologist
replied.
More sternly, Jack asked in amazement, “You didn't think my injury was
worth being careful and understanding of? You sure dismissed our
doctor's orders pretty easily. I'm hurt, Daniel, deeply
hurt.” He purposefully played up his despair as best he
could. This could be worth some serious good stuff, like, ~Ah,
slave Danny; good for at least a weekend!~
“Can it, Jack. Like I'm the only one who does,” Daniel snorted as
he sat up and stretched his upper body for a moment..
“Hey!” the older man tried to object.
Shaking his head, Daniel retorted, “Give it up, O'Neill. You
don't listen any better to Janet's instructions than I do. Who's
always saying 'we' know best? Besides, don't you remember that
night?” he asked, a twinkle in his eye at the recollection.
“No.”
“Jack? The ice cream, the whipped cream, and the peanut butter
which we ...” Daniel lustfully recalled.
~Oh, geez, that was *that* night?~ Interrupting, Jack
acknowledged, “Okay, Daniel, yes, I remember.”
“You weren't complaining then,” Daniel smirked.
“I'm not now either. I'm just ...” Jack began.
“... being annoying?” the younger man completed.
Jack refuted, “Participating! I'm reading your story and giving
you feedback.”
“Feedback?” Daniel questioned skeptically.
“Yes, feedback,” Jack verified forcefully. “You know, something
that says what I like or don't like about it: a review. I'm
critiquing you.”
“Jack?”
“Yes, Babe?” Jack asked.
Dryly, Daniel stated, “I didn't ask you to be a critic; I only asked
you to read it.”
“Don't you want to know my opinion?” the older man inquired, his eyes
trying to give him a look of innocence, hurt, and betrayal.
Standing, Daniel replied, “Always, Babe, but right now, I thought I'd
get out the ice cream, and maybe the whipped cream, and some wine ...
and I might even grab the peanut butter.” Smirking as he now
stood at the doorway, he asked, “Now, would you rather stay here
and critique my notes, or are you coming with me?”
“With you, Danny, always and forever, Love,” Jack crooned as he stood
up. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Daniel replied. “Chocolate or vanilla?”
“Both!” Jack replied as the two headed for the kitchen and a rendezvous
of their bodies.
//Epilogue - Excerpt from Daniel's Personal Journal//
Who knew my computer diary could lead to such an exotic adventure, but
it did. When Jack finished reading about our adventure with the
Salish, we began a night of exploration and discovery. No matter
how many times over the years we've made love, it never gets old.
There's always something new and sweet to find out about the 'us' of
our love.
Tonane's spirits had been real beings, disguised in myth as animals of
the forests. They cared about the Salish and had no real desire
to hurt us or anyone. Their spirits, their reason for being, was
simply to protect Tonane and his people.
Our spirits, Jack's and mine, are our hearts, always open and revealing
the truths of our souls to each other. Together, we are free --
to laugh, to cry, to hold, to touch.
When My Jack and I are together, alone in our nation of two, we soar
like eagles, our wings big and strong, moving effortlessly as we
connect the layers of our skin. We fly higher than we can imagine
as we meld together our limbs into one, moving and flowing in a rapidly
increasing rhythm that takes us over the mountaintops and into the
heavens.
Together, forever, My Love and I soar through our skies, and then
sleep, nuzzled and entwined as if we were a human blanket and a human
pillow, protecting and loving the other with our bodies.
Tomorrow, we'll face more battles, but the spirits of our hearts will
never be defeated. Sleep, My Love. I love you.
... and yes, you are a studmuffin!
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