No Yes No
Author: Orrymain
Category: Slash, Humor, Romance, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 8 - September 17, 2005
Spoilers: Citizen Joe
Size: 13kb, ficlet
Written: June 29-30, July 1-2,4, 2008
Summary: Jack's thing for peridot jeopardizes his night of love
with Daniel.
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were,
especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can
dream though!
Notes:
1) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with ~
in front and behind them, such as ~Where am I?~
2) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Tammy,
Melissa, Sara, Keri, Linda!
No Yes No
by Orrymain
The lovers had just returned from a party at Janet Fraiser's
house. She always threw great bashes and had great
turnouts. There was no special occasion for the get-together; she
just wanted a night out for the troops. The guests were
exclusively personnel from Cheyenne Mountain.
Somewhere along the line, Jack had decided to tell a story to the
guests. It had been entirely made up, not based on any event at
all. While the fictional tale amused most, the silver-haired man
now found himself on the defense as he faced off with his lover,
shortly after have returning home from the physician's party.
“No,” Jack stated firmly, his hands searching desperately for something
to latch onto. He just hated idle hands, though he had never
really thought about why. ~I'd think about it and try to figure
it out, but I don't like to think, either.~
“Yes,” Daniel insisted with equal fervor as he stood opposite his
husband in a stance that spoke of absolute confidence.
Jack stared for a moment, a hint of disbelief in his eyes, and then
repeated, “No.”
“Yes,” the other man refuted quickly.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes,” Daniel insisted once again even before the 'o' in 'No' had been
completed.
“Daniel, there is no way that ...” Jack stated stubbornly as he fumbled
for a pillow on the sofa, since it was the only loose item that he
could reach at the moment.
“Yes, you did, Jack,” the younger man asserted, blinking once with an
air of authority about him. “I remember that ridiculous story you
told clearly, and you *did* say it.”
“It's just a color, for cryin' out loud,” the older man sighed,
deciding he might as well give in, even if he didn't really remember
exactly what he'd said. ~Could have been crimson, for all I
know. I was tellin' a friggin' story. Who knew he'd be
listening? Heck, I wouldn't listen to me if ...~
“Jack, are you paying attention here or ...”
“I'm ... listening,” Jack stated defensively, squeezing the accent
pillow in his hands as if he were trying to strangle it.
“And put that down before you suffocate it,” the archaeologist ordered,
pointing at the object his Love was holding.
“It's not alive.” Seeing Daniel's glare, Jack reluctantly tossed
the pillow on the sofa and then argued, “What's the big deal anyway?”
After a moment of thought, Daniel answered, “Follow me,” and headed
upstairs to the couple's bedroom. Once there, he pulled open a
couple of his drawers and also the closet door. Like a model on
“The Price is Right,” he held out his arms to point to the various
items of clothing and asked smugly, “What color are most of these?”
“Blue,” Jack answered nonchalantly.
“Why?” Daniel inquired with mock innocence.
Jack stumbled over his words and finally got out a mumbled, “They're
your clothes. You tell me.” Realizing he wasn't going to
get away with that response, he forced out, “I like blue. I like
*you* in blue.”
“And, therefore, considering this ... blue fetish of yours, something
you've exhibited practically from the day we met, I might point out,
would it not be logical to conclude that your favorite color is ...
blue?”
Jack cocked his head back as he considered the question and then
scrunched his face a bit as he admitted, “It might be a reasonable
assumption.”
“Might be?” Daniel challenged curtly, glancing over at the abundance of
blue-shaded shirts, pants, sweaters, and socks that were in his closet
and drawers.
“Okay, it's blue,” Jack agreed, wanting this discussion to be over with.
Approaching his husband, the younger man asked forcibly, “Then *why*
did you say your favorite color was peridot?”
“I didn't,” Jack corrected, a smirk on his face.
“You did so.”
“Did not.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Danny, you were stuffing your face with those Chinese dum dums.
I'm surprised you even heard what I said,” the general put forth, going
on the attack in the hopes of surviving the debate without having to
spend a night on the couch.
“Dim sum.”
“What?”
“Chinese dim sum, not dum dums,” Daniel corrected.
“Daniel!” Jack rebuked in frustration at the irrelevant correction.
“Jack!” the younger man countered, not backing down one inch.
“Daniel!”
“Jack,” Daniel replied calmly, his voice steady.
“*Daniel!*” the older man snapped.
“What?”
“I forgot,” Jack groaned, rubbing his face in the palm of his hands for
a minute.
“You were accusing me of eating and not listening to your story.
It's called multi-tasking, and you should know that it's not
difficult. You stuff your face all the time during meetings.”
Jack smiled and raised his hand outward as he enthusiastically
interjected, “A ha! You just made my point for me, Dannyboy. I'm
never listening at those meetings!”
Daniel's head dropped down, his eyes focused on the carpet in
disbelief. He wondered if he'd just imagined the response that he
had just heard.
“Okay, so you heard, but it was just a story,” Jack pointed out.
“Did you see their faces when you said you had a thing for peridot?”
Daniel asked lightheartedly.
“What's wrong with peridot?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Daniel answered as he shook his head quickly a
couple of times. “In fact, John's favorite color is green.”
“John?” Jack asked quizzically.
“John Carpenter -- from the Mountain?” Daniel queried innocently.
“He mentioned a few months ago that peridot is one of his favorite
shades of green.”
“Carpenter? That brainiac who's always watching your six when he
thinks I'm not around?” Jack asked sharply about the openly gay
civilian who was a member of the archaeologist's staff. “Daniel,
you are *never* allowed to wear peridot again. In fact, you are
never allowed to where green again,” he barked irrationally.
“Gawd, you get so jealous, so easily,” Daniel chuckled, shaking his
head at the order which he had no intention of following.
Jack looked at his lover suspiciously and accused, “You made that up.”
Daniel shrugged and cocked his head to the side for a moment, a smirk
on his face as his eyes shone with mischievousness.
The older man sighed, “I guess I deserved that. Danny, I'm sorry
...”
“I know, and it's okay,” the younger man assured, cutting off his
lover's next words and giving him a sweet kiss. A moment later,
he let out a chortle and commented, “That was a crazy story, Jack.”
“I thought of it when I was at the barber's yesterday. I realized
that's what Joe, the real Joe, does -- cuts hair and tells ridiculous
stories.” With amusement, Jack added, “I've been listening to his
stories for years now. I just thought he deserved a moment in the
sun.”
“The ... real Joe wasn't even there, at the party.”
“It's the thought that counts,” Jack opined, smiling at his
response. “I immortalized him in story.”
“Right,” Daniel responded dryly, his eyes rolling at the logic.
“Uh, what was with the ascended thing?” Daniel asked. “You don't
normally even like to think about that dream we had, and you ... well,
everyone knows that Jonas has never been your favorite person.”
“It was the whiskey.”
“Jack, you weren't drunk.”
“I had a bad moment,” the older man asserted. Seeing his
soulmate's stare, he clarified, “Had to review SG-9's latest visit with
those arrogant, stubborn, un...”
“Jack, don't start,” Daniel interrupted.
With a nod, Jack continued, “It was the last thing I did before we left
the Mountain.”
“That's a crazy rationalization.”
“Hey, I had Joe all excited when you came to rescue me, jumping up and
clicking his heels in the air.” Jack grinned as he expressed with
amusement, “That was snappy!”
“Thank you,” Daniel responded, adding a hesitant, “I think. You
also hinted at a fling between you and Sam.”
“I did not.”
“You did, too.”
“Not,” Jack refuted.
“Too.”
“Not,” the older man argued with a frown.
“Jack ...”
“Daniel, all I had him say was that he wouldn't tell anyone about my
feelings. Then Carter walked in. I was talking about you,
but I couldn't exactly tell him that in my story, unless you wanted us
to retire tonight.”
“I guess you have a point,” Daniel conceded, since the guests at the
party included several base personnel who hadn't a clue about the
couple's love affair. In fact, some of them still thought Jack
and Sam were an item. ~I still hate that game we've had to
play. It's not that bad now, but for a while, it was horrible.~
“Of course, I do, did,” Jack stated.
“There was a flaw in your story, Love.”
“No, there wasn't.”
“Yes, there was,” Daniel claimed.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No,” Jack maintained with a disbelieving scowl.
“Yes,” Daniel repeated with a bob of his head.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Daniel, enough! There wasn't a flaw. It was the perfect
tale of Joe the barber getting a glimpse of SG-1 because of that
doohickey you messed with on 233.”
“But there was a flaw in your story.”
“Prove it.”
Smiling curtly, Daniel explained, “Babe, in the story, when Joe broke
into the house and pointed that gun at you, you didn't know who he was,
right?”
“Right.”
“You were going to call the police and turn him in.”
“I thought he was nuts,” Jack opined about his feelings in the fable,
watching with a bit of alarm as his husband grinned.
“Then why, at the end of your story, did you say that you had, for
years, in fact, seen Joe's life in your mind, just like he'd seen
yours?”
Jack started to answer, but then he stopped, a painful grimace of
defeat on his face.
“Crap!”
Daniel chuckled, “If you'd been seeing Joe bowling and ... whatever you
said, you would have recognized him right away, and there wouldn't have
been any need for him to point out your love of 'The Simpsons' and Mary
Steenburgen, not to mention your *thing* for peridot.”
“Enough with the peridot already.”
“But ...”
Holding out his finger towards the other man's face, Jack sputtered,
“Ut! Ut!” He moved closer to his husband, looking into the
cerulean blue eyes that were the oceans of Daniel's soul. “Blue
is my favorite color,” he proclaimed before placing a tender kiss on
his Love's lips. “My thing for peridot pales in comparison.”
“I'm glad to hear that. I'd hate to have to go shopping for a new
wardrobe. I've gotten used to all that blue,” Daniel teased.
“I'd be blue if you did,” Jack joked, causing Daniel to groan.
“Bad?”
“You've done better.”
“Maybe,” Jack replied.
“You have,” Daniel responded.
“Sometimes,” the older man stated.
“Frequently.”
“Daniel.”
“Jack.”
“I have an idea,” Jack stated, causing the man who was his heart to
smile, knowing exactly what his Love was suggesting.
“I like that idea,” Daniel affirmed vocally.
“I like it even better.”
“No,” Daniel asserted.
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes!” Daniel stated sharply.
“No.”
“Yes, Jack.”
“Two of my favorite words,” Jack mused cockily as he wrapped Daniel in
his arms and started walking backwards, stopping every couple of steps
to kiss his sexy and alluring soulmate.
“Yes, Jack,” Daniel replied as they bounced down onto the bed.
“Love you, Angel.”
“And those are *my* favorite words. Love you, too,” Daniel said
before the spoken word was silenced by the physical language of the
lovers' bodies.
Jack's tale forgotten, the soulmates got lost in their love and their
nation of two, where the word 'no' was seldom heard.
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